Enough Baby Steps Complete A Journey

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(For reading in Chinese, please scroll down to the end of the English text.)

(For international readers, allow me to explain: I am an American but I have lived in China since 2004. My city of Chongqing, often abbreviated as CQ, is pronounced Chong Ching to rhyme with Wrong Ring. CQ is a megacity of 30 million people in south-central China, on the Yangtze River. I’ve come a long, long way – 13 time zones to be exact – from my original home town of Rolla, Missouri, on the Little Dry Fork creek.)

After he retired, my father declared that he would not have a computer in his home. He could easily afford a computer and he was accustomed to using a computer in his office; those were not the main issue for him. He knew what the computer could do for him but Dad made the decision to live computer-free in his retirement years. He also owned a smartphone but it was used solely as a telephone. He wanted no text messages, no social media, no music, no email – the only feature he used was the telephone. For years after his retirement, his children repeatedly urged him and Mom to get a computer for their home. The kids offered to buy, install, and instruct our parents about how to send and receive emails and photos, find online music, social media, news, etc. – all to no avail. My father was adamant that he did not want a computer in his retirement life. 

Photo by Tranmautritam 

I recently made the statement that my computer is absolutely essential to my work. The computer and internet access are an integral part of my working routine. It would take much longer to complete things without them. True, humans got along for many centuries without computers. If necessary, we could go back to living without a personal computer. True, we could. People also managed to live without a car but you don’t see many people today who want to go back to the horse-and-buggy mode of transportation. 

Channeling my father, I went on to say the computer, while being essential, is also my greatest single source of stress, distractions, and frustration. At that point, my wife became a little upset. As a traditional Chinese girl, she claims, “That’s my job.” (I wonder if she meant her job is to be indispensable… or to be the chief source of my stress, distractions, and frustration?) Okay, for the sake of domestic harmony, let my wife be Number One. The computer, then, is still indisputably Number Two. 

Sometimes, after a particularly bad digital day, I think my father may have been right. I imagine how peaceful, pleasant, and simple it would be to live without a computer provoking blood pressure spikes in my life. But, speaking realistically, I do not have that luxury. I cannot choose a computer-free lifestyle. Such a choice would mean a sacrifice in productivity, availability, and access to the vast resources of the internet. We can visualize the young Ernest Hemingway in Paris. He takes his pencil and notebook and sits with a cup of coffee to write in a quiet café with the street sounds of that romantic city in the background. (Imagine an early version of Starbucks, but with no free wifi.) It may be a lovely image but it is difficult to justify actually living that way in our modern digital age. The price for that pencil-and-notebook lifestyle is too dear. The sacrifices are too great.

Good or bad, the dependency issue is settled. The computer/no-computer lifestyle question is no longer under discussion. My father may have lived computer-free but I cannot. Therefore, let’s explore what might be done to reduce the stress and frustration that inevitably accompany the use of a computer.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto 

I recently began a 100-day project of simplifying and reinventing myself. No, I did not run away from home to join a drift voyage across the Pacific. I have too many commitments; I could not abandon my responsibilities. However, I began a serious review of my behaviors and values – and I didn’t like some of what I saw. Don’t misunderstand me; much of my life is good. Most people around the world would envy me. Still, I found that I wasn’t satisfied. Why not? Further self-examination provided some answers. Perhaps they will be true for you also.

The essence of my self-enlightenment was the realization that digital life was too intense. I have often said that our human body is not designed for the load of stimulation and decision-making that is part of living in the modern era. Even on those (very rare) days when all my devices were functioning properly and my internet connections stayed connected, I was constantly being asked to update apps, choose a new password, answer security questions, respond to text and voice messages, provide additional details, and check for the email someone just sent with a new link to click. The more you use the computer and the internet, the deeper down the rabbit hole you go. Does this sound familiar? Are you also trapped in a similar love/hate codependency with your digital devices?

Did you ever, at the end of a long computer session, turn off the computer, slump back in your chair, and feel like a pilot who had just safely landed a plane under dangerous conditions? When I looked at the big picture, I saw that working on the computer, like flying a plane, was inherently stressful because of the intensity. Plus, even on the good days, added to the normal intensity was an irreducible minimum of confusion, frustrations, and distractions. 

Another insight… 

Photo by Bhola shanker Katariya

There was a second issue: More time spent in front of a computer screen meant less time available for non-digital activities. If I wasn’t spending my days slaving over a hot keyboard, I would have more time for non-digital activities. I might bake a lovely loaf of bread and fill the house with that wonderful aroma when it came out of the oven. Or I could walk away from the computer to escape with a book about other times, people, and places. Or exercise: Get outdoors and go for a walk. Or do routine maintenance tasks around the house. Or I could do some puttering: Clean and organize the mild-to-acute chaos of my office. I might even – dare I say it? – take an afternoon off and go fishing. 

After looking at my situation objectively, there really wasn’t much to debate. I decided that quality of life was more important than mere productivity with the emphasis on efficiency and output. Therefore, I resolved to set a daily limit (X hours) for how much time I spent in front of a screen. When those X hours are completed, I will walk away from the computer until the next day.

But… this led to a further conclusion: If I was going to reduce the number of hours I spent at my desk, I must begin prioritizing more carefully. “If I am going to spend only X hours each day in front of my computer, what should I be working on during those X hours?”

The solution I chose was to select a few projects which required the computer and make a list of them on a monthly calendar*. Such a printed list allows me to see at a glance if I am consistently working on those things I have chosen as my most important digital activities. Accordingly, I resolved to begin planning my days around the high-value projects as much as possible. Now, in addition to all the little tasks and maintenance activities – I call them routine emergencies – clamoring for my attention, I can look at my list of high-value projects when I create and prioritize my day’s to-do list.

Take from pesels

Obviously, there are some things that simply must be done or the negative consequences will be significant. We must get the kids to school, clean up the kitchen, and go grocery shopping; I recognize that. Here’s the problem: those routines and trivial activities can easily expand to take up our entire day. (The professional term is “mission creep”.) While you deal with the laundry, you are not free to spend time on those higher-value activities which you chose. 

I decided that those high-value projects would make greater contributions to my happiness in the future than putting away the laundry or its equivalent tasks. I want to do at least one baby step each day in every project. If I can complete one step on each project every day, I will maintain momentum and keep them on top of my conscious mind when I am listing my to-do tasks for the next day. Thus, those big projects will finally get done. It’s all about prioritizing. We must make time for the long-term goals in addition to the immediate domestic demands.

Nobody ever said that achieving a high quality of life was going to be easy. It requires thinking to prioritize and execute tasks. It requires admitting that there isn’t enough time in the day for everything… so we must give up some things. Do you think that Albert Einstein or Isaac Newton said, “I have to clean the dishes and go shopping before I can sit down at my desk and do my work?” Those brilliant gentlemen had a clear grasp of what was most important. Somehow, the laundry in their lives got done… but not at the expense of creating ideas that benefited all humanity. 

But, ultimately, aren’t high-value contributions to ourselves, our family, our company, or our community what we all want? Could this have been what my father was thinking when he declared his retirement years to be a computer-free zone? What important, high-value projects have you been deferring so you could put away the laundry? When will you begin taking at least a baby step in your high-value activities each day? Enough baby steps complete a journey. Is there a good reason why you cannot start today?

Photo by Kun Fotografi 

* To get a free, printable chart with lines for each project and a separate column for each day of the month, go to Marcreklau.com or send me an email at randy@randy-green.com.

足够的小步子完成一个旅程

我父亲退休后,宣称他不会在家里安装电脑。他很容易买得起电脑,他也习惯于在办公室里使用电脑,这些对他来说不是主要问题。他知道电脑能为他做什么,但父亲做出了在退休后过无电脑生活的决定。他也拥有一部智能手机,但只是作为电话使用。他不想要短信、不想要社交媒体、不想要音乐、不想要电子邮件,他唯一使用的功能就是电话。在他退休后的几年里,他的孩子们一再催促他和妈妈为家里买一台电脑。孩子们提出要购买、安装,并指导我们的父母如何收发邮件和照片,如何查找在线音乐、社交媒体、新闻等。- 都无济于事。我父亲坚决表示,他的退休生活不要电脑。

最近我表态,电脑对我的工作绝对是必不可少的。电脑和上网是我日常工作中不可或缺的一部分。如果没有它们,完成事情需要的时间会更长。的确,人类在没有电脑的情况下相处了很多个世纪。如果有必要,我们可以回到没有个人电脑的生活。没错,我们可以。人们也能在没有汽车的情况下生活,但今天你不会看到很多人想回到马和越野车的交通方式。

我向父亲请教,我接着说,电脑虽然是必不可少的,但也是我最大的一个压力、分心和沮丧的来源。这时,我的妻子就有些不高兴了。作为一个传统的中国女孩,她声称:”这是我的工作”。我不知道她的意思是她的工作是不可或缺的……还是成为我压力、分心和挫折的主要来源?好吧,为了家庭的和谐,就让我老婆做一号人物吧。那么,电脑,还是无可争议的二号人物。

有时候,在经历了特别糟糕的数码日子后,我觉得我父亲可能是对的。我想象着,如果我的生活中没有电脑挑起的血压飙升,那该是多么平静、愉快、简单的生活。但是,实事求是地说,我并没有这种奢侈。我不能选择没有电脑的生活方式。这样的选择意味着要牺牲生产力、可用性和对互联网大量资源的使用权。我们可以想象一下年轻的海明威在巴黎的情景。他拿着铅笔和笔记本,坐在安静的咖啡馆里喝着咖啡写作,背景是那个浪漫城市的街声。想象一下早期版的星巴克,但没有免费的wifi。)这可能是一个可爱的形象,但在我们现代的数字时代,很难证明真正的生活方式。铅笔和笔记本的生活方式的代价太高了。牺牲太大。

不管是好是坏,依赖性问题已经解决了。电脑/无电脑的生活方式问题已经不在讨论之列。我父亲可能过着无电脑的生活,但我不能。因此,让我们来探讨一下,如何才能减少使用电脑时不可避免地伴随着的压力和挫折感。

我最近开始了一项为期100天的简化和重塑自我的计划。不,我没有离家出走,参加横跨太平洋的漂流航行。我有太多的承诺;我不能放弃我的责任。然而,我开始认真审视自己的行为和价值观–我不喜欢我看到的一些东西。不要误解我,我的很多生活都是好的。全世界大多数人都会羡慕我。但我还是发现,我并不满意。为什么不满意?进一步的自我反省提供了一些答案。也许对你来说,它们也会是真实的。

我自我启蒙的本质是意识到数字生活太紧张了。我经常说,我们的身体不是为现代生活中的刺激和决策负荷而设计的。即使在那些(非常罕见的)日子里,当我所有的设备都能正常运行,我的互联网连接保持连接时,我也不断地被要求更新应用程序,选择一个新的密码,回答安全问题,回复文本和语音消息,提供额外的细节,并检查某人刚刚发送的电子邮件与新的链接点击。你越是使用电脑和互联网,你就越是往兔子洞里钻。这听起来是不是很熟悉?你是否也陷入了对数字设备类似的爱恨交加的依赖中?

你是否曾经在长时间的电脑会话结束后,关掉电脑,躺在椅子上,感觉自己就像一个刚刚在危险条件下安全降落飞机的飞行员?当我从大局出发,我发现在电脑上工作,就像开飞机一样,因为强度大,所以本身就有压力。另外,即使在好的日子里,在正常的强度之外,还增加了不可减少的最低限度的困惑、挫折和分心。

另一个见解…

还有第二个问题。花在电脑屏幕前的时间越多,就意味着可用于非数字活动的时间越少。如果我不是整天对着热乎乎的键盘发呆,我就会有更多的时间从事非数字活动。我可能会烤一个可爱的面包,当它出炉时,满屋子都是那美妙的香气。或者我可以远离电脑,拿着一本关于其他时间、人物和地点的书来逃避。或者是运动。到户外去走一走 或者在家里做一些日常的维护工作。或者我可以做一些推杆运动。清理和整理我办公室里轻度到急性的混乱。我甚至可以–我敢说吗?- 我甚至可以–我敢说吗–请一个下午的假去钓鱼。

客观地审视了我的处境后,其实没有什么可争论的。我决定,在强调效率和产出的情况下,生活质量比单纯的生产力更重要。因此,我下定决心为自己每天在屏幕前的时间设定一个限制(X小时)。当这X个小时完成后,我会远离电脑,直到第二天。

但是……这导致了一个进一步的结论。如果我想减少在办公桌前花费的时间 我必须开始更仔细地安排优先级。”如果我每天只花X个小时在电脑前,那么在这X个小时里我应该做什么呢?”

我选择的解决办法是选择几个需要用到电脑的项目,并在月历*上列出清单。这样一份打印出来的清单可以让我一目了然地看到自己是否在持续地进行那些被我选为最重要的数字活动。据此,我决心开始尽可能围绕高价值项目来规划我的日子。现在,除了所有的小任务和维护活动–我称它们为例行的紧急情况–争夺我的注意力之外,当我创建和优先考虑我一天的待办事项时,我可以看看我的高价值项目清单。

显然,有些事情根本就必须做,否则负面的后果会很严重。我们必须让孩子们上学,清理厨房,去买菜,我认识到这一点。问题是:这些例行公事和琐碎的活动很容易扩大到占据我们的一整天。(专业术语是 “任务蠕变”。)当你在处理洗衣服的时候,你不能自由地把时间花在那些你选择的高价值活动上。

我决定,那些高价值的项目比起收衣服或同等的任务,对我未来的幸福感贡献更大。我想在每个项目中每天至少完成一个小步骤。如果我每天都能在每个项目上完成一个步骤,那么当我在列出第二天的待办事项时,我就会保持动力,并将它们放在我意识的首位。这样,那些大项目最终就会完成。这就是确定优先级的问题。除了眼前的家务需求外,我们还必须为长期目标留出时间。

没有人说过,实现高质量的生活会很容易。它需要思考来确定任务的优先级和执行任务。它需要承认一天中没有足够的时间来处理所有的事情……所以我们必须放弃一些事情。你认为爱因斯坦或牛顿会说:”我必须先把盘子洗干净,再去购物,然后才能坐在办公桌前工作?” 那些杰出的先生们对什么是最重要的事情有着清晰的把握。不知何故,他们生活中的衣物都被洗完了……但并不以创造有益于全人类的思想为代价。

但是,归根结底,对我们自己、对我们的家庭、对我们的公司、对我们的社区的高价值贡献,难道不是我们所有人都想要的吗?当我父亲宣布他的退休岁月为无电脑区时,会不会是这样想的?你一直在推迟哪些重要的、高价值的项目,以便能把衣服收起来?你什么时候开始在每天的高价值活动中至少迈出一个小步?足够的小步子就能完成一段旅程。有什么好的理由不能从今天开始吗?

* 要想获得一张免费的、可打印的图表,上面有每个项目的线条和每月每一天的独立栏目,请到Marcreklau.com或给我发电子邮件:randy@randy-green.com。

3 Replies to “Enough Baby Steps Complete A Journey”

  1. Hi Randy, glad to read your new blog. You always recommend the peaceful, and relaxed life style rather than busy and stressful lifestyle nowadays. I found that I spent too much time on phone and computer those days, especially my phone. In my life, I use phone to listen music, check social media and chat and play games, watch movies, which reduce my time and energy to read books, go outdoor and study other skills. We should control the time we spend on the devices, so that we won’t waste time and enjoy our life better~
    Hope you well.
    Bonnie

  2. It’s for sure that a digital appliance can help us finish our work efficiently and quickly. Maybe in the modern age, most of us will be in a daze without the digital appliance like the sailing ship without the illumination of the light tower at night. At least, that’s exactly what I feel now. For example, the majority of my college work needs my computer, especially my phone. It is practical to make a appropriate plan to avoid some disadvantages of the digital device. We can’t say that we could abandon our phone totally. This is an intelligence information time, which is a big trend.

  3. I Remember my first computer in the1980s, a Kaypro that cost US$3,000 and had maybe 512K of memory? And thinking what a timesaver this was going to be!
    A few years later it was thrown away, because it wouldn’t run those hot new programs I had to have, a pattern repeated many times in the years to come.

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